Coming of Age

My sister and I have, over the years, had many conversations about how to prepare our kids to be prepared to fly the coup one day. How do we teach them? What do they need to know? How do we organize the info they'll need to be prepared to be adults on their own loving and serving God because they want to, not just because their parents tell them they have to.

Over time my thoughts about how to do this have changed and evolved. Now that I work where I do, and see the results of hundreds of girls not being adequately prepared for the real world I can see some very pragmatic and realistic things that our daughters will need to be taught before we'd consider them officially "ready" to be on their own. At work, we spend a lot of time evaluating each resident as a staff team and deciding when the girls are ready to graduate, to move out on their own or to go back home. It's hard to decide, but when they're ready it gets more and more obvious. You can see instances where they totally "get it," and every day after that they are just getting brighter and brighter and more and more eloquent in understanding and sharing what they've come to know is true - we are created to worship God and everything we say or do should reflect that fact.

As we look at our two little girls we want them to be ready. We want to look at them some day and say "they totally get it." They're ready to be out on their own. Some day we want to celebrate their "graduation" from being children to being adults. We both know that will be a long process - lasting many, many years - but it's really exciting to see our little babies getting prepared to really start that process. There's a reason we work so hard at getting them to obey and submit and be willing to listen. We're not going to be able to teach them all the things they need to know if they can't even listen. Hence, the repeated trips to Time Out, and the many instances of wanting to pull our hair out as we struggle with not only behaviors but attitudes.

Today, was our first step toward the "Graduation" - the coming of age celebration that we'll be having in 12 years. Today was Hailey's first offical Mommy Date, where we got all dressed up, went to the fanciest restaurant in town, and talked about grown up things. It was so much fun - way more fun than I would have ever imagined it being. Soon there will be Daddy Dates and more Mommy Dates, but the first one was priceless.

We ate at Hour Time Restaurant. Hailey got to try the most amazing Chicken Salad and Fruit Plate ever created.



While eating I gave Hailey a beautiful gold cross necklace and explained that since she had asked Jesus to come into her heart and save her from her sins, every time she looked at that special cross necklace it would remind her that she was a Christian.



Then I gave Hailey her first grown up Bible. She was so excited to get her own Bible, and she even showed it off to our waitresses. She said she was going to show me her favorite Bible verses and flipped it open to some random spot and pointed at a spot so proudly. Then she asked me to find John 3:16 for her and read it to her. She crawled up on my lap and we read it together. Then I told her that I wanted to read my favorite verse to her, so I read II Cor 4:16-18. Then I read her II Cor 5:15 and explained that if Jesus had died for her, like we talked about when I gave her the necklace, then she needed to live for him. She knew exactly what that meant, and explained it as when Shelby is mean to her and takes her toys she will not be mean back because God tells us to be kind and that would be hateful.



Then we had lots of silly girl talk, ate lots of yummy fancy restaurant food, and went to see Kit Kitteredge - An Americal Girl. We HIGHLY recommend it. It was wonderful. Throughout the movie Hailey kept reaching down to rub her new necklace. She promised to wear it forever and remember that since Jesus died for her she was going to live for him. We capped the night off with a little drink at Starbucks before going home.

I had lots of "visions" of what our first official Mommy Date would look like and none of them were even close to as wonderful as it actually was. During dinner I promised Hailey that we would keep on having Mommy Dates and Daddy Dates until she was all grown up and ready to be an adult. I promised that we would do all kinds of fun things and share all kinds of secrets, and she squealed with delight at the thought of sharing secrets with me. She's going to freak out some day when she finds out that those secrets include information about body parts, and making babies, and how to handle the world of boys and dating. But even though I know that those uncomfortable moments will be coming up, I am so excited. I thought I might be kind of sad when we started the process of preparing for the girls to leave home, but instead I am so excited. To see the struggles that we have so much every day to get our girls to "get it," and then to see one them start to see the light. It's priceless.

One day we'll have a graduation ceremony of sorts, a coming of age, and I'll look back on this first Mommy Date, the first step in the process. One day Brian and I will look at Hailey and say "Fly little birdie, fly. You're ready."

A pretty cool necklace (50% off) - $13.00
A new Big Girl Bible - $25.00
Restaurant at the fanciest restuarant around (slim pickin's in Lafayette)- $48
Movie with my big girl - $15
Seeing her "get it" - PRICELESS